How to Put On a Sports Bra. (McSweeney’s)
1. Approach the sports bra with confidence, secure in the belief that you will wear it.
2. Holding the sports bra open by its bottom edge, peer into it and locate the medium-sized opening in the center of the cavity. This is your target.
3. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions:
A. Am I naked from the waist up?B. Have I removed my glasses?
If the answer to either is “no,” make the necessary adjustments and return to Step 1.
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